MONDAY NIGHT - TUESDAY MORNING

WEE WEE MOFO'S.....PEAAAAAACE PARIS

Well last night we finally found a good dinner place that was literally around the corner from the hotel this whole time.... Deborah was gonna ask those mugs to bring her a 2nd salad before our main course showed up..... so they bring us both 1/2 a chicken and when I say 1/2 I mean I got the part with the neck and heart....I was like welp looks like Im just eating salad tonight....Deborah said "give me that bitch" and ate it...

After we ate we went back by the Eiffel Tower and those peeps that sell shit on the street bum rushed us again...the one remembered me from the other night and wanted my number and I was like oh no...so he says "let me give you mine" and writes it on my train map...I was pissed because I don't like writing on my train maps...some mug in London tried to write on my train map and Deborah says "and you straight went off"... Im scrapbooking them :-) Anyway, as we walk away Deborah says "look at you getting picked up by an illegal immagrant"...I told her don't hate!

Afterwards we walked around again...more country miles!!! We jumped on a bus to go down to this area with a lot of shops and Deborah says "oh my ... isn't that a gay bar".... MARTY-she has finally got gaydar (remember Color Purple at The Fox?) anyway we get off at this stop and start walking and it starts to rain...so we back up under this awning and Deborah goes "Saja look, its a gay bar"....so, she asks them if we can go in and the dude is like "sure"...so, we go in and its on. Deborah is peepin mugs out like for 2 hours straight...she asked me if she could take pictures and I was like "fuck no, these dudes may be on the DL".... and believe me I could tell.

So, we got approached by the only straight dudes in the place... which I had already called them straight...Deborah says "straight peeps hang out in these places".. one was the owner that lived above the place.... man she was in heaven and soooooo noticeable that she had never been in a gay bar...she didn't know about the ones in STL......oh girl she has stuff to learn :-)

Then we decided to leave before it got to dark and the rain started coming down like a mofo again so we jump under another awning and damn if it wasn't another gay bar so I straight asked a dude if this was the gay district and he said "YEP"....well damn they have all the good shops and food places... :-)

We got back about 10ish and straight packed and talked to the husbands and I was out...but Deborah stayed down talking to April on the net (she loves her food & net)

Neither of us really slept because we are so ready to go home... this morning Deborah was ready to go see her OMELET MAN so we went down and I had my bowl of fruit while she talked to all of her homies in the rest...believe me those mugs knew her. She made me get a picutre of her with the OMELET MAN and then as we leave she is giving the waiters hugs... as we walked out I said "Damn, you love some breakfast mugs"....

Now we are off to the airport in about 30 mins for a 10 1/2 hour flight to Dallas (SHOOT ME) and then home around 7:30pm....

We both had more than a blast and as you can read many adventures and I will miss my sleepin buddy but it will be nice to feel hairy legs for a change :-)

Hopefully I won't have to blog any airport/train/taxi issues....PEACE!!!

MONDAY- LAST DAY IN PARIS

We woke up this morning and Deborah wanted her omelet from her boo downstairs...so I ate some fruit, most of this stuff here is skeptical...awesomely sweet hotel tho!

Our last train rides....THANK GOD! I had fun the first 1000 times we were on these mugs...and these people clown...they need to hand out deotorant when they sell the train tickets...if I smell one more person with some clownin b.o....I am gonna have to say somethin :-)

Deborah put her belt on today because she said if any beggers came up to us they were gonna get an American Ass Whoopin....I fell out laughing!

So.... no more than we get to the Louvre Deborah had to go to the bathroom.....first time she had to pay 1euro....she was high steppin it trying to give the dude her money.

At the Louvre I saw the Mona Lisa among a lot of other awesome other things. http://www.louvre.fr/llv/commun/home.jsp?bmLocale=en
Deborah wasn't all that interested in the museum part...she was like "okay, you saw it..lets shop".... so we did a little of that.... and then came back here to get ready for this evening

Stay tuned peeps!

SUNDAY - LAZY DAY!!!!

Today we slept in again...well, until Deborah shot out of bed at 10am and booked downstairs to f""k up some food....no washin face, ass or nothing....she wanted to EAT!!!!!



Then we both got ready and headed to Montmartre http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montmartre where we listened to a guy on the steps that played awesome music...it was so peaceful. The place however was (per Deborah) F**KED UP...and let me tell ya, I was scared too....

NOTE FROM DEBORAH - just keepin this shit real - there was a ton of African mofo's.. we thought one was just giving Saja a side hug but gave one from the back, crossed both arms around the front of her neck and started choking her.... I so needed my knife...and you all know Saja, that bitch is cock strong, but she was SKKKURD...some African mother fuka that was black as a crayon (as Saja would say) with gold hair had her in a "love" head lock! I decided right then it was time to bring out Shaniqua.. Saja said "fuck this, we are outta here"...now if Saja is scared somethings wrong...so, I told her NAW we came here to see this church we are gonna see it...after we finished Saja booked out...straight to the Metro...and straight back to the Champs-Elysees...she don't play

Then she talked me into going back to Louis Vuitton, I have been eyein these all this past week and said I was gonna get one. Saja souped me up and told me how much I deserved it, and you know what she is right...so, I got one peeps...I am an official owner of a sweet ass Louis Vuitton bag.... I will rent that shit out too for the weekend!!!!

Saja forgot to tell you all about her offer from a frenchman to get douched by him...see in France douche is a shower...but you should have seen Sajas face...she was like WTF, I don't need a douche!

NOTE FROM SAJA - okay people, really now...if some freaky deaky frenchman wants me to have a douche with him...thats scary...then he proceeded to profess his love and that he wanted me to have his baby...he circled my stomach with his finger because I couldn't make out all the words.... let me preface, this dude had both me and Deborah droolin over him for 2 days.... he owns this pub.....we THOUGHT he was shy.....shhhhhhiiiiitttt he punk'd me straight out! This mug, loved him some Sawjay....I even told him I was happily married and had kids and for 17 years now.... he still kept telling me that he loved me.... and my accent.... Deborah right now loves the fact that a dude scared me...I was straight worried on my way back that he may follow us so we went all over town....I know we added 2 country miles to the walk.... she can't believe someone punk'd SAWJAY...she is right now mockin me....that bitch! She just said that she is NEVER letting me live it down.

We still haven't found Deborah food...she is straight pissed....Im so sick of hearing about food :-) We layed low this evening and drank and read/did homework....don't hate people....we have been walking and walking and walking mofo's....we needed rest.

2mrw is out last day of our adventure, but I am sure there will be something funny to add. Peace, love & Gap!

SATURDAY - PARIS

WEE WEE MOFO'S..... DEBORAH WANTS ME TO PREFACE THAT WHEN SHE GETS BACK TO THE STATES SHE IS GONNA FUCK UP SOME FOOD...SHE IS HUUUUUUNGRY AND WANTS SOME WINGS!!!!

Okay, so today we got up and were feelin like ars...a little too much wine. So, we ate breakfast downstairs and then took our happy asses back to bed and slept til 1pm.... then we finally got up and around and went to eat.... TWICE....Deborah was still hungry after first meal :-) Then we went walking around some shops and then back to the pub that we were at last night.... lets just say if someone looks shy, that really doesn't mean they are shy....story to follow :-)

We walked 10 country miles back to our hotel and now Deborah is looking for some CHICKEN! Did I mention that the moral of todays story is DEBORAH IS HUNGRY.

We were lame today...we just wanted to chill and lay around....2mrw is Louve

FRIDAY - LONDON BACK TO PARIS

Not very eventful....last night (Thursday) we spent forever trying to get a way back to Paris...ended up doing Eurostar leaving at 12:00 so we had to get up early and roll out...sorry Keith couldn't go to Wimbleton.

Friday morning I was tired as all get out because I took 2 tylenol PM and it knocked me the f********k out.... we headed straight to the train station and had a pretty sweet ride back to Paris.... We started drinking on the train (HEY MARTY - sippin on gin and juice layed back with mind on money and money on my mind).... we also met a really cool gay couple and girl that we talked with for the ride.... then we had to get back on the Paris Metros...oh boy, I hope we don't get locked in again :-)

We were carrying our backpacks which weighed about 100 lbs and ended up at one wrong train station because the info lady thought we meant another place...arrrrg...so, Ole'Sawjay had it...she just needed a drink...and drinking is what we did. We found a hole in the wall french cafe and tore it up all night...made all kinds of friends that we eventually ate dinner with (Krystal & Corey) and then we walked 12 country miles back to our room where we finally checked in at midnight :-) Lights out for us.... it was like 2am but it was nice to finally rest

P.S..... we have seen some hot frenchmen...finally!!!

THURSDAY - LONDON

Last night after I got offline I went up to the room only to find out we couldn't make international calls and then me and Deborah got upset because we couldn't talk to our sweet husbands and kids...oh and she didn't get chicken wings earlier :-) We had to get a different room because our first one was janky...so in the new room since we couldn't get the intl line to work Deborah passed out while I watched a movie...it was about 2:30am before I tried to sleep.... I couldn't because the hotel is quite noisy with the doors...all I could think to myself was 'I want to go home' because I couldn't talk to my kids....I had a rough night.... but all was well this morning.

Today we had our wake up call set for 7:30am....butttttt, we didn't get any sleep so we just decided to go back to bed and we got up about 9:30am.... Deborah said 'we ate some more bread'....I will tell you, you can't go carb free in Paris or London :-)

First stop Kensington Palace....we walked 2 country miles to it but it was sooo worth it. We walked throuh Hyde Park and then came to the Palace and did the tour...it was so informative and even Deborah listened and liked it...then we just sat in Hyde Park for a while because it was so beautiful.

Next stop Harrods....totally over-rated (per Deborah)...the stuff was too expensive but that really wasn't the main issue it was just brain overload...tooooooo much stuff and tooo many floors. So, we decided to go to Buckingham Palace with a stop again at Hyde Park where we sat and ate Cheeseburgers (or so they say)...afterwards we walked 10 more country miles and got to Buckingham which was awesome too....

After that we went gift shopping and then got on the train for the millionth time to go to Abbey Road for Jim....took pictures there and headed back on the train to get Deborah her CHICKKKKEN WINGS!!!!!

Now we are back at the hotel (7:30) and we are going to pamper our feet and drink wine. No, we didn't get lost today or stuck on a train we just walked a lot so we are going to take care of the dogs.

2mrw we are going to Wimbleton and to the London Eye then we are going to figure our way back to Paris....WISH US LUCK

Talk to you 2mrw

WEDNESDAY - THE BEST STORY EVER

Boy that wake up call for 7am came fast and my head felt like a train ran over it....Deborah was THIRSTY AGAIN....people listen they don't eat or drink water around this piece :-)



I get in the 'tub' because they take baths around here too....layin your head back in a tub when it is spinnin isn't fun .... get out and Deborah is all ready....damn I wish I was black so my hair was 'did' already and I didn't have to straighten the shit....it took her like 5 mins to get ready..... I still had to pack my shit and get ready because we had to be at the airport for our flight to London at 10:55am



We decided Monday that we weren't draggin our bags to London...so, we were gonna jam some stuff in our backpacks...that is exactly what we did....I did mine in like 5 mins because I was too damn drunk to get MY shit done the night before....



Did I mention we had to drag our bags again for another 2 country miles to the other hotel??? Poor Deborah is sick as a dog...I feel better now but all she wants is some food and a COKE....will someone please give her a COKE...that isn't too much to ask for :-)



They are holding our stuff for us until we get back from London...as we walk out of the Pullman we were gonna do a Taxi to Charles DeGalle and they guys said 50 euros which is like $65 u.s....we are like 'oh hell no we will take the train'....we have PLENTY of time... like 2 hours and it only takes like 40 mins.....lets do it.



We ask a guy who f'n works there the best route to take and he says B all the way.... these routes change crazy.... its insane here.... guess what when he said all the way....he meant it....



I look at Deborah one time and am like 'I don't remember seeing horses and farms on our way out of the airport' and she is like 'oh yeah'..... next thing I look behind me and we are the only ones on the train..... I get freaked out... (Deborah would say - ah Saja is always stressed) you wanna know why.... cuz I pay attention to my surroundings.... we were pullin up next to other trains that weren't movin.... it was the end the line...LITERALLY....Deborah still wasn't worried I don't think it dawned on her that we were locked in a train in nomands land.... I couldn't get the alarm to work and I was freakin out..Deborah said that I said 'what are we gonna do we are locked in here'...she finally gets 'Deborah stressed' and finds a small opening in a window and puts both arms out and says 'hhheeeeyyy'...thank goodness some workers were close...they looked like 'damn Americans'...and got us off...only to almost get hit by another train...

We only have 1 hour until our flight so I am like f**k it lets get a taxi....guy drives like a bat out of hell and gets us to the gate at 10:25....and 30 euros later....

Guess what....we ran like crazy bitches to make our flight...like they do in the movies running through the airport...but in Paris they lock the flights because a bus drives you to the plane....we missed our f'n flight..... we had to each spend another 189 euros which is over $217 u.s. to get to London because we had to pay a change fee of 60euros and then the ticket difference....and we left 2 hours later.....

On the bus that takes us to British Airways Deborah realized we didn't pack enough clothes....we only jammed one outfit and we are here two nights in London.... all we could do was laugh!!!!

The moral of this story is.... PAY 50 FUCKIN EUROS for a taxi....otherwise it will cost you $470

Once in London we got to our hotel and then went on the tour of the London Tower Bridge and then walked the streets and ate at ASK and walked some more..... it is sooooo great here.....it seriously makes Paris look like the hood...even though it is nice there and awesome....this place is boooooshe

Now I am spending 10 pounds in the internet cafe to tell you this story which is like $15 US so you better have read all this shit!!!!! We are going to go up and soak our feet because we have ran and walked and ran and walked and ran some more todday!!!!

All we can do is laugh...her and I still haven't even gotten mad at all the shit we have been through because it seriously has been a blast.... but an ADVENTURE!!!!!!